The Nepotism-Driven Church

Moses. Eli. Samuel. Saul. 

As far as the Word of God goes, these were some of the most uncommon and heroic men of their day.
Reading about them inspires us to become friends with God, to see him face to face, to serve in the house of God, to hear him clearly, never miss a beat, to not let our words fall to the ground, to know that God can pick the smallest and the least to do great things with. But what else do these men have in common? Their sons did not follow in their footsteps.

 Let's see what the scriptures say:

Moses' position as leader of Israel was not hereditary. His son, Gershom, did not inherit the leadership of Israel. Moses' chosen successor was Joshua, son of Nun

 ⁹ Now Joshua son of Nun was filled with the spirit^[b] of wisdom because Moses had laid his hands on him. So the Israelites listened to him and did what the LORD had commanded Moses. (Deut. 34:9).

David is Chosen instead of Saul's Son Jonathan:
 ¹ The LORD said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.” (1 Samuel 16)

 ¹² Eli’s sons were scoundrels; they had no regard for the LORD.

¹⁷ This sin of the young men was very great in the LORD’s sight, for they^[b] were treating the LORD’s offering with contempt.

¹⁸ But Samuel was ministering before the LORD—a boy wearing a linen ephod.

²² Now Eli, who was very old, heard about everything his sons were doing to all Israel and how they slept with the women who served at the entrance to the tent of meeting. ²³ So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? I hear from all the people about these wicked deeds of yours. ²⁴ No, my sons; the report I hear spreading among the LORD’s people is not good. ²⁵ If one person sins against another, God^[d] may mediate for the offender; but if anyone sins against the LORD, who will intercede for them?” His sons, however, did not listen to their father’s rebuke, for it was the LORD’s will to put them to death.

²⁶ And the boy Samuel continued to grow in stature and in favor with the LORD and with people.

Prophecy Against the House of Eli

²⁷ Now a man of God came to Eli and said to him, “This is what the LORD says: ‘Did I not clearly reveal myself to your ancestor’s family when they were in Egypt under Pharaoh? ²⁸ I chose your ancestor out of all the tribes of Israel to be my priest, to go up to my altar, to burn incense, and to wear an ephod in my presence. I also gave your ancestor’s family all the food offerings presented by the Israelites. ²⁹ Why do you^[e] scorn my sacrifice and offering that I prescribed for my dwelling? Why do you honor your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel?’

³⁰ “Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: ‘I promised that members of your family would minister before me forever.’ But now the LORD declares: ‘Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained. ³¹ The time is coming when I will cut short your strength and the strength of your priestly house, so that no one in it will reach old age, ³² and you will see distress in my dwelling. Although good will be done to Israel, no one in your family line will ever reach old age. ³³ Every one of you that I do not cut off from serving at my altar I will spare only to destroy your sight and sap your strength, and all your descendants will die in the prime of life.

³⁴ “‘And what happens to your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, will be a sign to you—they will both die on the same day. ³⁵ I will raise up for myself a faithful priest, who will do according to what is in my heart and mind. I will firmly establish his priestly house, and they will minister before my anointed one always. (1 Samuel 2:12,17,18, 22-35)

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These are Old Testament examples, remnants of what can still be seen in the Church setting today. Many Churches have a structure that consists primarily of family related leaders that serve in key positions in the Church. While this is not necessarily a bad thing (most American Churches have a membership of 200 or less, and many of the core or founding members are family) when leadership is not held to a formal standard or code of ethics, it can spell trouble.

Nepotism is defined as favoritism granted to relatives regardless of merit. The word nepotism is from the Latin word nepos, nepotis (m. "nephew")

Here are 5 things to consider in a Nepotism-Driven Church:

1. You may rely too heavily on family support rather God's provision

2. You may be more family directed in decision-making rather than Spirit led

3. You may be reluctant to remove family members when they are in error

4. Your staff of personally connected friends and family may develop an entitlement attitude

5. You might actually stunt the growth of your ministry;
    people who are not blood-tied may see your church as "exclusive"

These are hard things to consider but it is important as a Leader in the Body of Christ that blood ties not be placed above the Lordship of Christ. Jesus said it this way: (Matthew 12:46-50)

⁴⁶ While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. ⁴⁷ Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”
⁴⁸ He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” ⁴⁹ Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. ⁵⁰ For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

As the Body of Christ, we are to be above reproach. That includes every aspect of ministry and life. The key here is granting a place regardless of merit. There are countless examples of Ministry Royalty and Secular Family empires. The key here as a leader is to seek God for the best man or woman. Jesus' brother James was a disciple. His mother was in the upper room at Pentecost. David's Son, Solomon became King. Can your family, or  my family, lead in ministry? They could. Should we be open to whoever God calls to walk alongside us?

That, my fellow Leader is the point.

 ⁷But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart

It can be tempting to simply place people in position because it is convenient, they are your friend or family member, or because you don't want to upset the person who may be really nice yet they have absolutely no skill in the area they desire to serve in. Your temporary fix could be creating future problems. Let us not be guilty of overlooking and basing our decisions on our own understanding. Let us trust that God knows what he is doing. He sets members in His Family as He wills. When God does it, the Church will looked the way he intended, love the way He intended, and when people look on us, they will see a true picture of the Body of Christ. Jesus chose 12 men from different walks of life to paint a picture. The women who followed him and supported his ministry were just as diverse. The message? God can choose anyone, even me.

When the Un-Churched encounter The Church, let that same sentiment ring true.

BlackThought: Voices Of Change NOW

"You cannot feed the world and starve your countrymen and expect an applause from God."

Shantae A. Charles

 Someone may be wondering: Why is she writing about Black History? Isn't Black History over?

Let me just clear the air:

Well, it might be  "over" if you are not Black or African-American. But, if you are one of the 14% of Americans described as such, Black History is everyday. It is constantly being written by each one of us who carries within our genetic code the characteristics that define us as such, mainly the melanin that infuses our skin with color, making some of us more obviously black than others. From ebony to cafe au lait to near ivory, we vary in shade and many of us are of mixed ethnicity & culture (Caribbean, Afrcan, American, Latino, Native American, Asian), and to the on-looker that can confuse the conversation and dialogue. Which is why we should talk. We are not all the same.

As I pondered today what I wanted to share, the words Black Thought Thursday popped into my head. God deals with me in rhyme and analogy, and alliteration, so I just go with the flow. I had been reading this wonderful book about the speeches and letters, and lectures of African American leaders, writers, poets, and statesmen, teachers, peanut farmers and university founders, and I was floored by their eloquence, their precision in commuicating that change needed to happen for our people and by our people.

They faced the hostilities and predjudices of the day head on and did not flinch at the backlash they recieved for plain speaking, as my friends would call it. I wondered, where are those voices of change now? The voices most of us hear are so politically correct, and neutral that you cannot really be sure what side they are speaking from.

These Voices of Change demanded a NOW answer to the growing problems of racism, economic, social, and educational disparity. They did not have a "sit back and shut up" mentality. They demanded justice based on the document of justice that was put in place first for white males, but essentially for everyone. The declaration that "all men are created equal" was to apply to humanity, not just to one race, or one gender, or to the person who was able-bodied but to all. I want to share with you some of the statements that stood out and challenge you to do a little reflecting of your own and research some of these great voices of change.

On Slavery

A slave was rarely killed. They were too valuable. It was quite easier and more effective to sell him Down South. In slave times, a Negro was kept subservient and submissive by frequency and severity of scourging.~ Ida B. Wells Barnett

The white man's happiness cannot be purchased at the price of the black man's misery.~Frederick Douglass

Reflect: What way has slavery been institutionalized in our society?

Lynching is the aftermath of slavery.~ Mary Church Terrell

Reflect: Do you think political, economic, social lynching exists?

When you give away your right to speak, you put the next generation back in chains.

Reflect: What social justice efforts have your children or those you mentor seen you speak out about?

On Equality & Democracy

What the people want is simple. They want an America as good as its promise.~Barbara Jordan

The color of the skin is in no way connected with strength of mind or intellectual powers.~ Benjamin Banneker

We wish to plead our own cause. Too long others have spoken for us.~ John Russwurm

This country can have no more democracy than it accords and guarantees to the humblest and weakest citizen. ~James Weldon Johnson

The American Dream reminds us that every man is heir to the legacy of worthiness.~MLK

If America is to remain a first class nation she can no longer have second class citizens.~MLK

The price America must pay for the continued exploitation of the Negro and other minority groups is the price of its own destruction.~MLK

Reflect: Do you think we have made real progress in racial  and social equality?

Now, more than ever before, America is challenged to bring her noble dream into reality.~MLK This thought still rings true in 2012.

On The Struggle

It may get me crucified, I may even die. But I want it said, even if I die in the struggle that, "he died to make men free." ~MLK

Sadly, this came to pass when he was assasinated on 1968.

The citizens of America want and deserve more than a recital of problems.~Barbara Jordan

How can we begin to build institutions that allow people to relate as human beings? This country has not done that. Especially around the concept of black or white.~Stokeley Carmichael

Reflect: How can we end the struggle for equality personally?

On Globalization

All of us must develop a world perspective if we are to survive. The American Dream will not become a reality devoid of a larger dream of a world brotherhood and peace and goodwill. MLK

The world in which we live is a world of geographical oneness and we are challenged now to make it spiritually one?

Reflect: Do you think globalization has minimized the needs of people of color who are still underserved?

On Self Education & Empowerment

If you want to hide something from a black man, put it in a book.~Anon

The whole world opened to me when I learned to read.~Mary McLeod Bethune

One of the things young people should learn is how to see for yourself and listen for yourself and think for yourself.If you get in the habit of going by what you hear others say about someone or what others think about someone instead of searching that thing out for yourself, you'll be walking east when you think you are going west...the most important thing we can learn today is to think for ourselves. ~ Malcolm X

Every time black people move in this country, they are forced to defend their position before they move.~ Stokeley Carmichael

If you form the habit of taking what someone says about a thing without checking it for yourself, you'll find that other people will have you hating your friends and loving your enemies.~Malcolm X

Reflect: Do you see double standards when it comes to accountability?

On Integration, Segregation, and Responsibility to the Race

What integration is in this country: You do what I tell you to do, and then we'll let you sit at the table with us.If there is going to be integration it has to be 2-way. If you believe in integration, come live in Watts. Send your children to the ghetto schools. Let's talk about that.~ Stokeley Carmichael

We commit racial suicide by not sounding the alarm and protecting our own children from the poverty that ravages their dreams. Marian Wright Edelman

Integration is subterfuge for the maintainance of white supremacy.~Stokeley Carmichael

Hug your grandparents and say, "I want to thank you for what you've done to make me and my life possible."~Alex Haley

Reflect: What responsibility, if any do you think you have to your race?

On the Black Middle Class

Unless the black middle class begins to exert more effective and sustained leadership with and without the black community on behalf of black children and families, both as personal role models and value instillers and as persistent advocates for National, State, and Locally funded policies...then all of our Mercedes and Halston frocks will not hide our essential failure as a generation of Black "Haves" who did not protect the Black future on our watch.~ Marian Wright Edelman

Don't be so busy getting that you get down in the mud of oppressing your own race.~Sac

I hope the quotes and reflections here will promote a dialogue long after the last sentence is read. I encourage you to be a voice of change Now, not an echo of political correctness and status-quo thinking.

Blessings to You, Next Generation Leader.

A Leading Lady In My History Part 2

As I continue this segment, I'd like to introduce you to another Leading Lady, the late Mrs. Leary M. Davis. I can tell you now that much can be said, but I will speak from the position of granddaughter. You see, when I entered the world, she took one look at me and knew I was "a Davis" (my family name). My grandmother was an incredible Woman. Some of the things I remember about her is that she was raising my father (also deceased) and 10 other children single-handedly. She and my other grandmother were raising large families alone and pulling the wieght of father and mother (they showed me it could be done without the help of a sugar-daddy!). They became fast friends, and their children did too. That's where I come in. My father and mother never married each other. I am the sum total of their brief and passionate relationship. I'm glad they didn't abort me to "get on with their lives". There was much controversy (for another article) around me at the time because of it (my Dad was 16, my Mom 22).

In spite of the way I entered the world (without the covering of marriage), my grandmother loved me to pieces. And I felt it. She took me under her wing, and cherished me. To me, she was home. When I think of her hugs now, I recall sweet potato pie. She was the essence of what goodness in the world can be. I loved doing her chores (though I could not cook a lick!) because her home was a home of peace. People were always coming to Mrs. Aunt Tot's house to stop by, drop off a gift, or just sit at her feet and listen. Her home was the meeting place for wisdom. People spent their vacations coming to visit her and just talk. Truly God had crowned her with wisdom. I remember right before I got married, both of my grandmothers and my mother were all together. I asked them for advice. I tape recorded it. I still have that tape. It is gold to me. I still own a tape recorder for that very reason: to replay it.

 Leary Mae Davis
A True Leading Lady

      

My grandmother taught me if you have nothing nice to say, pray Lord, help me to have a kind word even if they are doing bad things. My grandmother always joked that for her to be on a fixed income, she always had more to give than those who were not. She always spoke to me about saving and not spending money on things that soon fade. When she passed away, her debts were paid and she left something for her children and their children. She also left a legacy of unconditional love. I know I don't just speak for myself when I say I don't think  I will find anyone who loved so strongly and forgave so easily. No, she was not perfect, but she was as close to heaven as many had ever experienced. I plan to pass on the wisdom I gained at her feet to the next generation. Though she is now at rest, her voice lives on in me and everyone who knew her. Love You forever Gram Tot.

Gram Page & Gram Tot
Lifelong Friends

They are the inspiration for the Grandmothers in my novel series Church Love. 

Check that out at www.churchlove333.blogspot.com

A Leading Lady in My History

In honor of my ancestry, I'd like to introduce you to a woman who is still alive, but she is living black history for me. She is my grandmother, Ruth Page.

My grandmother and role model, was called by God at 13 on her parent's 40 acre farm in Fayetteville, North Carolina. If the Lord permits, she will see 92 years in April (she is now 93).  She taught me how to bow my knee to Jesus Christ alone, how to be a traveling missionary, how to work for social, racial, political, and economic justice, while visiting the sick, healing the diseased, visiting the poor, widow, orphan, working the altar, forgiving those who wronged her, preaching fire, and doing it in 6-in heels, winning Senior Citizen olympics, riding a three-wheeler for MILES up until she was in her late 80's, talking crackheads into returning stolen goods, and receiving Miami Herald's first round of Spirit of Excellence Citizenship awards. She was awarded a HURRICANE ANDREW award for turning on fire hydrants to help get clean water quickly to residents with a wrench b/c no one could get into our neighborhood directly after. She helped bring Health Services and Head Start to South FL, and petitioned to get our black community schools rebuilt after Andrew b/c they wanted to leave it as portables. This 100% Cherokee Woman of God is incomparable.

The amazing thing is, I was there these moments. I can remember her influence and involvement in my life at 2 years old, and even now, though she is battling dementia and resides in a nursing home, she still demands my relatives nearby call me and she talks with me. I have her letters she wrote while I was away at college. Those letters are like gold now that she can no longer recollect or recall certain things about her life and childhood. I treasure the history I saw through her life of service. From county meetings, to neighborhood programs, to senior citizen center meetings, to tent revivals, she did not leave me out. If I wanted to go, she took me, and even those times when I just wanted to hang out and do nothing, she still took me along (smile). I met influential city council, forgotten widows, people from all walks of life who respected and still respect my grandmother and the life she lives.

I remember one time a few years back my oldest brother called me. My grandmother had walked out of the house and could not find her way back. One of the people who lived in the neighborhood blocks away found her, realized what had happened and brought her back home. I wish America knew each other like that everywhere. You wouldn't have to worry about the elderly or your children, because everyone would be their neighbor's keeper. She was returned safely home. The man recognized Missionary Ruth Page, no longer as sprite and fiesty, but still a woman of God.

My grandmother is one of many women I admire who has had a profound and lasting impact on my life. She led me to Christ at 13, out in my backyard while making arts and crafts with me. No matter what she was doing in the ministry and community, she volunteered in the local schools, and made it to our school presentations. She stood up for us when it seemed like we would not reach the goals we needed and when society desired to make sure we were a statistic. She was always trying to give to us, show us how to use our own hands, and show us inexpensive ways of getting what we needed. There are so many lessons that I learned from her that this blog can do no justice to. I simply wanted to honor a snippet of my Black History.

Grandma, I love you forever. You taught me how to lead and love without limits or boundaries.

LOVING Leadership

Companies. Churches. Nations. What do they have in common? They all rise or fall on leadership. So, it stands to reason that if you are a leader, you want to do all that you can to be the best you can be, to improve in your leadership. If not, well, there is always someone who is studying your strengths and weaknesses. They might just become your successor. That won't be a bad thing if you are prepared to hand over the reigns. So, what does it take to be a better leader? You must first recognize that leadership that will be duplicated should flow out of love. Jesus, the Son of God, and the greatest leader this world has ever known, was the epitome of a leader whose influence flowed from a place of love.
Here's what LOVING leadership looks like using that very word.

Leadership should be:

Launchable: As a leader, we have to be able to cast the vision, equip those who will carry the vision, and then launch them. One of Peter the disciple's most admired traits was his sheer boldness to take Christ at his Word, and launch out. As a leader, you have to know when to tell the team to step out, stay on the boat, or dock it. The evidence of the success of your launch is not when you are at the helm, but when you are asleep below deck. Jesus' disciples were not yet ready for Pentecost, hence the refrain, "Master, carest not that we perish?" They still needed time to know Jesus purpose and mission for them.


Observable: There is nothing worse than someone directing you to do something, yet never taking time to model what it is they want or walk you through the process. Very few people are entirely audible learners, meaning most need HANDS on care. If the mission is always failing or aborted, go back and check whether you made the mission observable. Jesus never assumed the disciples knew how to spread the Gospel. He allowed them to walk with him in ministry. He mourned, He got angry, He rebuked, He danced, He hung out, He sung hymns. They saw the total leader, not just the PC side.

Validating: Almost as bad as blind directions is the feeling you are being set up to fail. As a leader it is imperative to affirm the mission and the messenger for the assignment. David was anointed as King not just in the field while herding sheep, but before all his kinsman. He was validated and therefore walked in a confidence and security that would have been lacking.

Involving: As a leader, it is important to get your hands dirty, and also allow people to be apart of the process and own the vision, goals, and mission of your organization. Yes, there is a time where leaders need to retreat and refuel, but there is also the time when leaders need to swing the golf club or make the 3-pointer with the company team.

Next Generation Minded: As a leader, you have to think beyond the now to what is to come. This requires prophetic eyes and insight. A leader will not build a vision around him or herself, but will equip the team with the principles that will carry the organization into the future, regardless of who is at the helm. Jesus left a playbook of instructions so that his mission could be easily understood, mass communicated, and duplicated at breakneck speed. Can your vision do the same?

Generous: If your organization or team is going to grow, you have to be willing to give, to invest in the team. You might do this through providing training, incentives, a better health package, opportunities to further education. A leader who is generous understands that people are the greatest investment property. Team members who are poured into will remain with an organization even in hard times. Why? Because they became vested in the success of what was invested in them.

So, Next Generation Leaders, have you provided loving leadership? If not, it isn't too late to strengthen the areas that need strengthening. May God bless the work of your company, ministry, and nation as you take leadership to the next level!

Cultivating Leaders

Leadership happens with or without your permission.

HGQ

Many people associate leadership with a prescribed set of traits. The truth is, whether you are aware or not, you are a leader. Everyone, whether introverted or extroverted, whether given the title or voted in, is in fact a leader. Someone is being influenced by your actions as well as your inaction. I propose that you make the most of your influence. Here are three ways you can cultivate leaders around you. It's as simple as ABC.

Avail yourself. If someone asks you for help, be available to help them. The minute or two you take to give direction could in fact be the life-saving answer.

Become an Opportunist. Look for ways to encourage those around you to step up to the plate, to take responsibility.Make every effort to compliment those around you who are exhibiting leadership skills.

Change your perspective. I often say children are people in little bodies. They will one day grow up with the memory of your respect or your belittling them. See them as keys future succession,  rather than your competition or your replacement.

So, this week, make an effort to Avail yourself, Become an Opportunist, and Change your perspective. You will be surprised at the positive leadership you can grow when you cultivate it.

Lead Now. Cultivate Next Generation Leaders.

Leaders Are: Four OUTstanding Things

Have you ever been in the midst of a crowd of people, yet one person seemed to stand out amongst them? Have you ever been minding your business while browsing a store, and someone came to you for help? Have you ever been reading your paper in a cafe, curled up with a fresh cup of coffee, when you were politely interrupted by someone who thought you had all the answers? Though these instances happen to most of us at some point, they don't usually happen all the time...unless you're a leader.

Here are four OUTstanding things, or simply things that stand out about true leaders. Whether in the classroom, boardroom, or the sanctuary, Leaders, can be identified. Leaders are Readers, Writers, Thinkers, and Speakers. If you plan to be an effective leader, you must take every opportunity to maximize these components. Here are some tips on all four.

Leaders are Readers.

• They read daily
• They read variety
• They read people, not just books

Leaders keep their minds fresh and their knowledge accurate, current, and relevant. They utilize all forms of technology and read a variety of material, the Bible being their primary source against which every other source of "so-called" advice or wisdom is measured up against. They translate head knowledge into people knowledge. It's no  good to a leader to read books, yet not understand people. The best leader synergizes what he knows with who he knows.

Leaders are Writers.

• They write daily
• They write their plan and progress
• They write everyone
• They write using every form of technlogy available

Leaders write daily. They keep before them their to do list, their follow-up list, and they are constantly progressing, filtering out what is priority versus what is trivial. Leaders write their plan and progress. Whether by journaling or Ipad notekeeping, leaders keep written record of their plan, progression, changes, triumphs, and disappointments. Leaders write everyone. By this, I mean that leaders communicate with their Mentors and Mentees, but they also take time to personally thank the little old lady that sent a handwritten note about how their ministry or business impacted her. As Bishop T.D. Jakes stated recently at a leadership conference I attended, "I maximize my waiting time and tweet to individuals who have questions." If the Mega-church Pastor can do it, you can too.

Leaders are Thinkers.

• They think positively
• They think futuristically
• They think in a prepared place
• They think in motion

Leaders spend as little time as possible with Mr.Shoulda, Mr.Would Have, and Mrs. Could Have. They are all about keeping their mental space infused with the strength and energy of positivity. If you are negative, leaders will point you to the door faster than you can say, "goodbye". Leaders think ahead. Not, 1 day ahead. Not one week ahead. Pastor Rick Warren, when planning his ministry, he created a plan 40 years ahead. Why? Because he knows the vision is bigger than one person. Leaders think in a prepared place. There are times when they need to get away to renew their mind and perspective. Leaders think in motion. Leaders understand that constant thought is the key to constant progression. Jesus, spent most of his earthly ministry thinking in motion, and teaching the disciples along the way.

 Leaders are Speakers.

Leaders speak life

Leaders speak purposefully

Leaders speak to everyone

Leaders speak life. They are intentional in what they say and do, and are constantly looking to help others grow, deveolp, mature, and change for the better. Leaders speak to the janitor, the mail carrier, the farmhand, the secretary, the CFO, the significant other. Leaders don't take for granted that a smile, a simple hello, a cordial question can change a heart or an attitude. Leaders see everyone as having signficance and value. It's a huge part of what makes them a leader.

So, take some time to do all four things that make you OUTstanding. May your leadership improve, and your influence increase as you do the things that make you stand out from the crowd.

Keep Leading!