The School Year: Off To A Leading Start

      As I thought about this upcoming school year, I began to think about the parents and students that would stream through doors all across the country. I wondered, if I could tell them anything to help their child get off to a good start this year, what would I tell them? Well, here are a few time tested guidelines for starting the school year right:

1. Go to Orientation.  This is highly important especially if the school is new or if your child is making a transition (elementary to middle school, middle to high school, and even high school to college campus) This allows your child to familiarize themselves with the layout of the school grounds and not look like a deer caught in headlights on the first day of school. For special needs children, this is especially important to begin helping to establish routines, locate necessary offices in the building for the first day of school. This can decrease anxiety and stress levels for a child that gets easily lost or easily frustrated. They can spend the first day of school learning peers, not feeling inadequate learning the space and layout of the building. One of the biggest complaints I have heard from students is that they wish they had gone to orientation, and not had to play catch up on need-to-know information.

2. Meet the Guidance Counselor. This is person who will be scheduling your child’s classes. It is very important to have a guidance counselor whose goal is to meet the needs of your child and not simply pass them through the minimal requirements. Find out their philosophy for guidance. If you feel uncomfortable with their approach, request another counselor to be assigned to your child, if possible. As a high school student, it is imperative that your child have a guidance counselor that wants them to excel and reach their highest educational  potential. If there is any question about the courses that your child is enrolled in ad how they will prepare them for their future, this is the place to go first. You can also speak to your school board office and your state department of education if you feel as though your questions are not properly addressed. Your child gets ONE shot in High School. It is up to you that they do not miss any course work that can secure a better financial future for them.

3.  Go to Open House. This is an opportunity for you to get a layout of the class space, request seating adjustments, talk with your child’s teachers, take a more detailed look at the curriculum, and textbooks and take inventory of your child’s interaction with the teacher as well as your teacher’s interaction with other students and parents. Ask about the grading scale, grading policies, their policies on late assignments, whether or not your child can correct an assignment.

4.   Read the Syllabus, Grading Policies, and Classroom Contracts Closely before signing off.  Read them with your child and ask them to tell you what they think the policies mean. If there is anything you don’t understand, or any policy that looks completely different from the general handbook grading policies, request a meeting. Don’t sign off on it. If resistance arises, request a meeting with the teacher, their team leader, and the principle if necessary.

5.   Limit technology (social and entertaining) and establish a curfew especially for the weekdays until the first grading quarter is up. You cannot make an honest assessment of how your child will do in school if they wake up to the DS3, come home to Wii, and go to bed to Facebook. If your child does well the first grading quarter, you can reassess their limits then. If they do poorly, you can be assured the distraction of technology will not improve their performance.

6.       Offer to volunteer at the school at least quarterly. Whether that is helping bake goods for a bake sale, being a parent chaperone for a certain number of trips, get involved and show your support for the school.

7.       Set up your parent-teacher conference dates by the end of the 2^nd week of school. When you make meeting with your child’s teacher a priority, it signals to the teacher that you are committed to the process of education and that you will not only be there to show up when something isn’t “right.” Remember, you are in this together. Parent-Teacher-Student is a 3-fold chord that can't be broken when the goal is the same. Communication allows you to be on the same page and not be pitted against each other. It does not strengthen your communication with the person who has direct influence in the classroom if you bypass them and take your concerns to the administrator, especially if you have not first tried to communicate your concerns or needs to the teacher.

8.      If you know your child has organizational struggles or has had discipline issues in the past, let the teacher know. This shows the teacher that you are being proactive and want to set your child up for success and not failure. For example, if the teacher knows your child is easily distracted, she would not place him by a window or near the doorway. You can also request weekly monitoring that your child is aware of. This often time ends many disagreements because you are being kept abreast of the behavior (by email or hardcopy note). As an educator, I rarely had to dispute the grades or effort scores of students who had progress notes.

9.      Pray for your child, and everyone involved in their learning process. You are the God-given first line of defense for your child. Send them to school knowing they are covered by God, cared for, protected, and loved by you. Hug your child. They are looking for your attention in the morning. Please give it to them. That speaker phone call can wait. The most self-assured students I have had the pleasure to know are those who arrived to school already confident that they were able to take on the day. Why? Because someone in their household told them so.

10. Remember that teachers have feelings too. Most teachers are in the profession because they are committed to improving the future generation and they believe that education is the most powerful way to do that. Some of them are working more than one job or are only employed half days due to budget cuts. My former Director would say, "If you believe half of what they say about us, we will believe half of what they tell us about you." In other words, misunderstanding and miscommunication can and does happen, but if everyone is committed to the students success, you find a way to work together towards the end goal. You may not like every teacher on your child's roster, but you can show your child how to cooperate even with a seemingly difficult person to achieve an end goal. Trust me when I say your children are taking their cue on how to problem solve (or how to manipulate and sabotage) from you.

       I encourage you to make this school year the best one yet and give your child the tools necessary to start the school year from a Leading Position!

The Dangerous Business of Child Care

Recently, I experienced something that in all of my years of teaching and educating children

I had never experienced, neither was expecting to. EVER.

I was falsely accused of mentally abusing children.

In order to understand why this was disturbing to me, I will give a little background for you. I have worked with children all of my adult life and taught for nearly 12 years across different sectors of public and private education. I am a godmother to four, dear children, and enjoy mentoring children and young adults who have looked to me for guidance and as a source of counsel. This false accusation came from a disgruntled parent and equally misguided children. These allegations came as a result of an atheist parent enrolling her children into a school founded on "Christian principles".And this, is why I call Child Care a Dangerous Business.

 

Unfortunately, with so many real abuses happening in our society, and things I have witnessed as an advocate for children, I cooperated fully with the person assigned to investigate this allegation.After a thorough investigation of teachers, other students, and staffers, the allegation was proven and declared to be unfounded. I was not offered an apology. I was not offered my position back, and as a matter of fact those children are still happily gadding about with the potential to ruin another educator's record. My question to the investigator was simple: "What if this had been found as "legitimate"? Who will protect teachers and administrators from outright lies? These same children gleefully recounted to me that they were involved in the firing of another childcare worker at a previous center. This establishes a history of lying and plotting to get rid of staff who they do not like.

After seeking the Lord, I decided not to pursue a legal counter-suit for defamation of character, which I was within rights to do. In my case, God distinctly told me that vengeance is His and He would repay. The good news? These children are now formally recorded as being liars and their names will show up in the system should they ever file another false report. So, now what?

As an Educator, I want to leave you with some advice regarding False Reporting:

1.Do not answer any allegations without an attorney present.

2.Seek legal counsel immediately.

3.Communicate as much as possible in writing.

4. Cooperate with those who are doing the investigating.

5. Believe in due process.

6.Stay calm and pray. If you have done nothing wrong, it will be revealed.

7.Make every effort to follow up with the organization.

8.Check with your state's policy regarding false reporting and follow the necessary steps.

At present, I continue to have a positive relationship with my former boss who was not the decision-maker for my termination, my conscience is clear, and I have done what I can to live in peace. I am not in control of the actions of those who falsely accused me. I am only in control of my own actions.

As Leaders, we must do everything possible to live in peace while maintaining our honesty and integrity. As a Christian, I know that all things work together for my good. Even through this harrowing experience, I have learned to trust in the peace of God, the mercy of God, and operate in the patience and forgiveness that God so readily affords me. This does not mean that I have felt no grief or pain over the incident, but that I have given my future and the future of those who wrong me into the hands of the Lord. May I encourage you to do the same?


Let's Pray:

Father,

Right now there may be those dealing with injustices or false accusations. Like me, they may have been caught totally unaware by them or they may have seen their adversary slowly building a case against them in an attempt to entrap them. I thank you Father for the blood of Jesus that protects us and shields us against every attack of the enemy. I thank you that no weapon formed against your people shall prosper. I thank you that every lying tongue would be stopped and every slanderous mouth be closed. I thank you that the righteousness of those accused would shine like the noonday and that those who accuse them would be ashamed. I thank you for a forgiving heart and spirit be released to those who have been falsely accused or have suffered persecution for your name sake. Let your great grace be upon them now, to continue to stand in love and be examples in Jesus Name. Amen.