Racial Reconciliation: Is There A Seat At The Table For Black Women?

I am under 40. Yet, I have experienced desegregation through busing Blacks from the ghetto into white neighborhoods and schools. I was one of them. I have experienced being blocked from opportunities during my middle school, high school, and college years regardless of my skills, gifts, talents, and willingness to learn. I have a gifted to genius IQ. That has meant absolutely nothing to some decision makers, and posed a threat to others. I have been told as early as 2014 that I have three strikes against me: "You're Black, you're female, and you're intelligent." Let me just say that is not just the sentiment of the secular world, but in some ways, it is also the sentiment of many religious circles as well.

Many are well aware of the minimized role of Black women in the Civil rights movement. I dare say that this attitude continues to pervade many areas (political, social, religious) today. But as I was seeking the Lord today, I heard this clarion call:
Until they invite Black women to the table and not just as tokens, they still have a ways to go.

A panel of Black men is great, but we are in this together. The Black family not just men has been decimated by racial systems and the residue of institutions of racism both in and out of the church.

Systems that left us with:

The government becoming Father in the home
The imprisonment of men for petty crimes or trumped up crimes
The promotion of abortion for Black women no matter the age, income, or marital status
The Black woman as the sole provider for the home
The deliberate effeminization of the Black male and push of the homosexual agenda in the Black community

It was Black women who lost husbands, fathers, brothers, and uncles. Who had to teach their sons and daughters that America had different rules and standards for them that continue to this day.

It was Black women that seemed to always wear mourning clothes. Dreams dying, children dying, economy dying, future narrow and limited.

It is Black women that were and are pushed to the forefront of careers and fortune 500 companies, even as she watched her Black man denied those same careers to drive a wedge in the family and flip the structure of the provider in the home, from male to female. She watches the unemployment rate skyrocket for Black men affecting their psyche and need to provide as well as their self worth and marriage potential in the eyes of Black women.

Rather than addressing the system that keeps Black men out ( unless they are gay like Don Lemon and pose no threat) many bought into the lie that Black men were just not up to par. Many have believed the lie that "there are no good Black men" and it is simply not true. The unemployment rate among men does not tell the full story. The illegal immigration issues will further suppress the potential of Black men in this country. But I digress.

It is Black women who continue to be marginalized even in Hollywood. Viola Davis, Gabriella Union,Monique, and Victoria Rowell are women who have recently spoken out about this marginalization and white power structure that limits roles and only promotes Black women as Whores, Slaves, Maids, Angry, Hypersexual, Mentally Ill or Lesbian. Those are the roles available, and if you don't play the game of "cooning for Hollywood", you are black balled.

But we are more. We are beautiful, intelligent, witty, kind, compassionate, nurturers. When was the last time you saw that portrayed? We are judges, ministers, mothers, teachers, congresswomen, officers, architects, not video vixens and basketball wives. When was the last time you saw a Black professional woman portrayed in a positive light with no shade?

I ask, "Are we really serious about healing the soul of Black America? Is there a seat at the table for us?" Racial reconciliation starts with healing the souls of Black folks. Our heart, our self- respect, our value to our own selves, not just healing with others.

Precarious Alliances

No one loves the story of a great friendship more than I do. One of the friendships that is remarked upon and drawn from over and over is the friendship of Jonathan and David.

There is one aspect that I have yet to hear about and that is the position of Jonathan in the midst of two extremes: love and hate.

David was the friend Jonathan loved, and yet on the opposite side was the intense hatred his own Father held for the person Jonathan loved.

What happens when your friend is deeply connected to your sworn enemy?

You tread very carefully, as David did. Though he loved Jonathan, he understood his alliance was precarious at best.

King Saul would use Jonathan's friendship to further his despotic plans to try to murder David. I dare say you've met some people like that.

Even Jonathan had doubts about the intensity of his father's hatred for David. But David was NOT making it up. And neither are you. Sometimes, you might be the only one who sees at first the enemy connected to your friendships. It takes an honest friend to assess the connections around them.

Jonathan was so convinced that he was right, that he put it to the test. When he discovered that his Father was indeed after David, he wasted no time informing David, giving him time to escape what was sure to be an assassination.

As a Leader, you must recognize when you have to disconnect or disengage, not only for your purpose, but for your safety. Jonathan and David, though covenant friends, continued to hold each other in esteem, though their lives took divergent paths.

What can we learn from their friendship?

Covenant connections can survive disconnection due to danger
Covenant friends don't always see the spear coming for you
Covenant friends can't always disconnect from your enemy
Covenant friends will protect, alert, and warn you of impending danger.
Covenant friends keep their words even to future generations.

For more on this friendship, read 1 Samuel 18

Next Generation leader, let God lead you even through precarious alliances and trust His voice in who you count as a covenant friend.

Energy Leaks

Leadership takes energy. Jesus knew how to direct his energy and he left us a great example. He refused to engage in debates with the scribes who wanted to argue and not learn. Jesus never wasted energy with the religious. He knew his mission was to save those who needed a physician. Jesus never wasted energy begging people or manipulating people to follow him. His ministry campaign was simple: Follow Me.

He always kept moving and told the disciples to do the same if they were not received. "Wipe the dust from your feet." and "Don't give your pearls to swine." are very direct approaches. Jesus knew how important it was to share his treasure with the people who could receive it.

Jesus was AWARE of the energy he carried, that divine virtue that emanated from him. It was so tangible, that he KNEW when it left him with the woman who had the issue of blood.

This begs the question: Do we have energy leaks? Do we allow the divine presence that God has placed in us to be depleted by words, distractions, or being busy in the wrong things?

As leaders, we must realize that we can become depleted and we must make guarding the energy we have a priority. How can we do so? Let's use the acronym energy:

Examine your current schedule and be willing to release draining activities

Never be afraid to use the word NO.

Evaluate the relationships that are closed to you- are they draining or depositing?

Refuel in the presence of the Lord daily.

Get a grip on gratitude, grace, and giving- they are energy refuelers

Yield to the Holy Spirit's promptings to rest

You've got a mandate to fulfill and you've got to have the energy to get it done. I pray that you will avoid energy leaks and that your life energy will be poured into the right people, places, and purposes.

Find Your Sphere

Welcome to 2015 or 5775 according to the Jewish calendar!

There are many new opportunities, new places, new doors, and new connections ready to be made. As a leader you will be tasked with making those connections with a wise and discerning mind. As 2014 (or 5774) came to a close, one of the things I heard God say distinctly was, "Find Your Sphere in 2015." 

When God gives very direct statements, I have now after many years realized that it is up to me to dig deeper, to ask a preceding question, sometimes internal, to gain a greater understanding. So, I went digging.

In my search, I heard a preceding word: "Circle minded people tend to think two-dimensionally. If you are going to move to the next dimension, you have to find your sphere." 

Now, I was really intrigued. God, you're going to have to elaborate.

And he did:

Jesus had a sphere of influence, and more than one. If not, he would have never impacted

Kings, Soldiers, Scholars, Priests, Fishermen, Tax Collectors, Prostitutes, or a schoolboy with a lunch to give away. 

Circles create circular thinking and circular people (people who only form a circle of friends) keep you going in circular motions. Repetition and traditions are easy to form with circular thinking. They are not so easy to dislodge from when I call for a different method of doing. Change upsets circular people because they enjoy the safety of repetition, seasons, and cyclical activities. 

Spherical people handle information latitudinal, longitudinally, and are not intimidated by the winds that can blow from any direction. They aren't unsettled by change, and have a multidimensional approach to problems and vision.

Two-dimensional, flat thinking will flat-line in the next dimension. I want to release global influence to my people. Many can't come out of the neighborhood because they won't leave the circle mentality. It is time to expand thinking so that my influence can reach out through them in a greater way. 

Well. That was pretty specific! This conversation led me to do some some research that I will share below:

Circles lie within spheres. Spheres have an infinite radius. I was starting to get the point of whatGod was saying.

A circle is one dimension of a sphere. The sphere is the larger picture of your connections, with the potential to have an infinite reach and impact. Here are some further properties of the sphere:

Points are all the same distance from a from a fixed point on a sphere. There is an equality as a principle in the sphere. Spheres have a fixed point, a core, a center.

One unique thing about the sphere is that the contours and planes are all circles. These planes connect and interconnect, creating the sphere. Every contour and plane has a purpose and a connection within the sphere. They may not touch at all points but they are connected. Some circles depending on the plane, run parallel, not perpendicular, so they may not touch.

The sphere has constant width and girth. Every point is umbilical and not distorted or disproportional. Nothing about the sphere is lopsided or out of shape or place. Umbilical implies that all points are getting one source or focal place of nourishment. All points are equal. The sphere and the plane are the only surfaces with these properties. The sphere has the smallest surface area of any solid, yet the greatest volume.

So, what is my takeaway?

God is looking for his leaders to develop multi-dimensional relationships

God is looking for us to have relationships that have a center and core

God is looking for us to have balanced and nourished relationships

God is looking for greater connectivity and networking in our relationships

God is looking for our relationships to be balanced and not distorted

God is looking for less "surface" more volume or "depth" in our relationships

When your sphere meets another sphere of another dimension, it creates what you see below:

 Your sphere is never diminished by another sphere. Expand your thinking. Find your sphere. And let this year be your greatest year of healthy, balanced, nourished, connected relationships ever.

Fire The Factors

  “Don’t fall victim to what I call the ‘ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.’ You must be willing to fire.” 

T. Boone Pickens

I want to encourage you today to fire the factors. The factors are the things that weigh against your faith. They try to smother the voice of God in your decision making. Here are the FACTORS you should fire: 

Fear that slows momentum- this type of fear rather than wise caution causes you to be paralyzed. You make no decision at all which is still a decision. 

Anxiety that stirs dust- anxiety is like a Dust Bowl, kicking up a lot of debris, and blind your vision. You need your sight for where you are headed. 

Criticism that beats down- Constructive advice is always seeking to build you up and make you better not tickle your ears. Destructive criticism has no improvement in sight or as it's end goal. It is never wrong to ask your critic, "What's your end goal? Do you want to see me better or beaten?" A life-giving critic won't hesitate to give you the truth.

Traditions that bog down- The difficulty to move forward can sometimes lie in the traditions that tie us down. Sentimentality has thwarted many a vision. You can honor without holding onto dead things. Ask God for the wisdom.

Oracles that aren't wise- Guiding your life by wives' tales, fables, and cliches is not a very good guide. Older doesn't always mean wiser. Find people who are living out and speaking the language of the Bible, and by that I mean the Principles, not necessarily Greek and Hebrew. 

Returning to the Familiar- This can often set in when our plan fails to launch, backfires, lacks support, or lacks supply. You may face opposition, but if God promised it, he will bring it to pass. Don't be so quick to throw in the towel at the first sign of difficulty. 

Stress-Driven decisions- Don't let a temporary pressure cause you to make a permanent decision that could take you years, even decades to recover from. Avoid haste at all costs. Let the Holy Spirit drive you with his Fruit Factors found in Galatians 5:22-23

I pray that you will fire these factors and improve your servant leadership starting NOW. 

Leading While Teaching

In honor of  Teacher Appreciation Week, I wanted to thank some of the influential teachers in my life:
My 2nd grade teacher, Ms. Salzman, My 4th grade Art teacher, Mrs. Russell, who first nurtured me as an artist outside of my family's support. My 5th grade Art teachers (and later middle school): Mr. Tom Wyroba, Craig Kirk, and my lifelong Art mentor until she passed of breast cancer, Ms. Paraskevy Ralis. I'd also like to thank some of my high school teachers: My Honors English teacher, Mr. Cox, My Chemistry teacher, Mr. Smith, My AP Art teacher, Mr. Jackson, and my Economics teacher, Mrs. Lewis. Some of these teachers I was so horrible to, I actually went back to repent and find them to apologize face to face. That is what real leaders do (smile). It is no wonder I went into the teaching profession. I also have a racist teacher to thank as well (but that's for another blog). So, what has made these teachers stand out and stay with me, some 20-25 years later? What did they show forth that I try to demonstrate as a teacher? Not every teacher demonstrated all of these, but here are 10 qualities that made them stand out from the rest of my teachers:

1. They challenged me. Whether it was with an assignment, how I carried myself, how I spoke in their class, or the quality of my work, they challenged me to do better.

2. They were welcoming. In the eyes of these teachers, I was not just a number. I was an individual. I could question. Their door and ear was open. They counseled as well as taught. I never felt like I was a race or socio-economic demographic in their class, though I was bused in from (and lived in) one of the roughest neighborhoods at the time.

3. They did not play favorites. They had the same expectation of all their students. If they were biased, I could not tell. They were fair in their assessments and gave specific reasons for why they graded the way they did. There was no invisible calculation.

4. They took interest in me beyond the classroom. They sincerely cared how I was doing as a person, what extra activities I was involved in.

5. They demonstrated character in the classroom. I never saw these teachers ridicule, belittle a student, put a student on blast, or curse. I never saw or heard about them gossiping or spreading rumors about students. If they did not like a student, you didn't know it.

6. They knew their material and were active outside the classroom. All of my art teachers were amazing artists in their own right, and were not just teaching it, but getting it done, doing their own shows. I thought that showed their commitment to their field, and to staying current with their profession.

7. They encouraged me to pursue my dreams. I had wanted to be an architect since I was 9 years old. If God had not changed my course to teaching the arts, that is what I would be doing. My art mentor, Ms. Ralis, would allow me to visit her in the summer from college and work with her in the class, and speak with her students about college. It is an experience that I am still thankful for to this day.

8. They loved what they were doing and it showed. Every single one of these teachers taught with passion and enthusiasm. I absolutely despised Honors English. That is laughable now, because I am a writer and have developed a passion for English and communicating well. I was able to go back and thank my English teacher. He joked about how much I hated his class, and I was able to let him know that all that nagging paid off and all those rewrites and that I am now an author. He was not surprised.

9. They had no hidden agendas. The agenda was teaching. They were there to make sure we knew the material, understood it above average. They didn't try to persuade me on social issues. They didn't try to drop hints about their beliefs. You could have your own viewpoint and still pass the class. As a matter of fact, I can't remember any of these teachers giving their opinion, though they were open to class dialogue.

10. They believed that all students could succeed. Most students sought out these teachers, to be placed in their class. Why? They knew they had a shot at success with teachers that believed in them. I can't recall any student getting into serious trouble in class with them. If a student was skipping class, they could be found hiding in some of these classrooms. Sometimes it was a reprieve from a negative teacher. Because of their optimism, they were sought out.

Whenever I teach, I try to keep these principles in mind, especially when dealing with a difficult student. Some children have been so battered and beaten down by teachers who dislike the profession, show prejudice, are unconcerned, and don't know their material, that they don't want to see another teacher-ever. Why is the high school dropout rate soaring? Look at the ten principles above. Bring back effective teachers, and you'll see effective students emerge from the dust of what is passing for "teaching".

I challenge every teacher to consider the principles above. If you are going to remain a teacher, you owe it to your students to lead, and to lead them to a place of success, not despair. They will return to thank you! I am proof of that.

A Net Breaking Season

2 Corinthians 2:14-16

¹⁴ Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.

The Word of the Lord come to me today saying, 

This is your NET-Breaking Season

Your never ending triumphant season. 

Yes, you had a season where you were set at a crossroad

You were set at a place that allowed you to veer off or remain.

Because you remained,

The heavens have opened for you. 

You suffered a series of 

Loss, after loss, after loss, after loss, 

and when you did not think you could lose again

Loss occurred. 

But you are headed into a perpetual season of

Win, win, win, win, win, win, win.

Not because you were good.

Because you were grounded. 

You stayed in faith. 

You net breaking season is here. 

It's time to WIN. 

Welcome It Now. 

Write It Now.

Work It Now.

Remember, all you do 

is WIN

in this Season.

Advance the Kingdom. 

(Matthew 6:33)